welcome to the corner of a round room

01:10 pm - Continue

Well now, it's been a while hasn't it? For all who don't know, I haven't had the internet in about 2 months. I am now on cable, so I'm back. Good or bad, I leave that up to you. *smiles* I've had a lot of time to reflect, and I've learned a lot of things... I've made one decision that stands out, and that is to go to MIT. I am currently studying to pass the SAT II tests, being that I haven't seen a textbook in, quite some time. It's going well, i'm learning things I should have learned when I took these courses, but never did. I feel confident about getting in and doing well, only when I will be able to get in is the real question. I feel that this is the right step for me, and that you to Angie for telling me early that I belonged there. I think it's true. Everyone of faith, please pray for me; I know that success is not my accomplishment, it is the work of many.
To all my friends, I miss you all. I am looking forward to catching up with you, and discovering the things you have all learned!
To Kendall: I miss you! I cherish those times we would spend late at night, talking about the deeper expances of the human (and anime) mind. I hope to do that again sometime. Good luck with school, I know you'll do well. Hang in there.
To Kristen: I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way either of us hoped. I'm hope you are well and happy. Let your insight drive you and continue to do wonderful things within you. You are missed.
To Kevin: I love you so much! It's been a while since I've talked to you, but I've not forgotten. I hope to catch you soon and find out how you've been. You are moon unit. *laughs*
To Dale: Honam! I love you man, you're like a brother to me. I am looking forward to spending some time in the big U with you and your friends! Hang in there and study for once, eh? *laughs*
To Angie: I have recently read some of our conversations, and they have made me laugh and smile immensely. You are truely a wonderful and inspired person, and I miss you terribly. I hope you are well, and I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.
To everyone else (you know who you are!): I can't wait to talk, and please, by no means if you aren't listed that doesn't mean I don't love you! My mind is sporadic, we all know this. *laughs* Call me or IM me and let's chat!

Current Mood: cheerful

03:51 pm

Ok, so it's been a while. I know. My apologies to all who where affected by my inability to maintain my blog. It's nice and sunny out. Go outside and enjoy it. It won't be long until you won't be able to. Right now my mother is in a hospital bed, recovering from surgery... I'm sure she wishes she could be outside right now. So go out and enjoy it, since you can.

The coolest things in life are never self-proclaimed.

War is inevitable. Death is inevitable. Please accept reality and consider how actually difficult protecting the United States really is, and then reflect on what life WAS like in Iraq.

I may disagree with you, but I would die for your freedom to disagree with me.

Current Mood: hopeful

10:18 am - Psalm 3

The Glory of the Lord, shines upon my unsuspecting Ego..
I acknowledge and hold my hands high in surrender
As my Ego dies, it is reborn as a lamp
housing a Light that illuminates my path
Holy Spirit, thee that resides in me,
Honour thy purpose and thy origin
Give me the wisdom to see my path
and the courage to walk it
protect me from all that may seek to destroy me
and from the corruptions of my Self
Let Not, my pride blind me from Your ambitions
I ask Thee, I beg of Thee.....
break me and make me whole
tear down the walls I have put up around me
and comfort me with Your Love and Truth
lead me to the gates of Heaven
so that at last I shall hear the words I long to hear...
"Well done, good and faithful servant."

-- Psalm 3 - Book of Ian

07:11 pm

*groan*

11:15 pm - In Addition

Much has been learned, and much has been said. Things are more clear, and for that I am glad. Clearity can be a double-edged sword, but life seems never to propose a situation that cannot cut you in some fashion. Undortunately, answers tend to create new questions. Now we repeat the vicious cycle once again. Who can say what destiny holds? Is destiny mindful of me? Is there ever a time where I am mindful if it? Not my desires, but my real destiny? I contimplate at a micro level once again. I start to think of grains of wood, and a small drip of ice cream down the cone in the summer. I find myself listening to Canon. Interesting.
Well.. such is life. Questions that don't have answers, and answers to questions you weren't ready to ask.

Current Mood: pensive

03:26 pm - are these tasty munchies?

Ok, i reeeeally need to start sleeping more. I'm at the point of having daytime hallucinations.... something about CG women moving in virtego and green pastures with sunlight.... I don't know. I'm damn tired. Another 1.25 hours to go.... maybe a cup of coffee will help.
So I got Macromedia Dreamweaver MX to work in Linux. I rule. Yay. This goes in conjunction with a deal I landed. I'm going to be developing a web site with a freind of mine, who is a professional. He will be doing the graphics and I will be doing the layout. All in all, it'll be awesome. I'll be learning a new trade, which is great; and Ryan's a cool guy. So that's exciting. In other news... I'm trying to pitch my boss to use my father's company for a phone service supplier. In that scenario, we could save my company a lot of money, and since I landed the deal I get a percentage. Can we say, hundreds of dollars a month for sitting on my butt? Yes, we can.
Anyway, I'll write more later. Thanks for reading. Bye!

Current Mood: tired

03:36 pm - Congradulations!

Wow, what a weekend. I can't even express how rejuvinated I feel. It's a feeling of renewal. So yeah, I got to Kendall's on Friday, and I didn't leave until Monday morning at 2am. *laughs* I had a mini-vacation! It was so nice to get away from everything. Saturday morning I made breakfast with Kendall's dad, and talked with him for a few hours. I am now actually contemplating going into the Police Force. I didn't know you can change careers within the force. That sounds very intruiguing, being that I want to do too many different things. In such a job, I would also have the satisfaction of helping people. I could feel that I'm using the gifts I've been given to benifit mankind... something I've learned is more important to me than a paycheck. Who knows, it's nice to have options.
It was great seeing Jess also. She's such an awesome person, I love you Jess! Love the poetry! *wink* It was nice seeing Kristen before she went back to the place she calls home. I'll miss you Kristen. Good luck with everything. *sits down at the bar*
I had the extreme pleasure of watching the rest of Evangelion with Kendall. It was funny looking over at her and seeing her in her "thinking mode." Hand to the chin and everything, *laughs* Some parts of that series require deep thought, so it's ok. Where's my favourite warm water penguin? *laughs* Kendall and I had some great conversations analyzing the events in the series. I really miss those kinds of conversations, thanks Kendall! "Make it so."
Theresa you are an awesome little girl! Stay cool, stay in school! *laughs* We'll have to show you all that Evangelion sooner or later. Oh! and by the way. Jess and I got Kendall to watch *drum roll* the RING! Woo! I heart that movie.
From my ashes of before this weekend to my current rebirth of my self, my creativity is coming again to bloom. Thank you to everyone who has touched my life, you are all very, very special.

Current Mood: rejuvenated

06:54 am

Water surrounds me
and i see a layer of knowledge above me
set upon the rippling surfaces
where the mind, body and soul unite
my finger slices the film
exposing my skin to the air of conciousness
infected with the clean air of clarity
deeply i breath, and my lungs learn the new reality
harshly rejecting the unkown
until it becomes natural
until it becomes my breath
i can now open my eyes
and look out upon a new horizon
as the unfathomable peace engulfs me
Praise the Lord

Current Mood: content

03:30 pm - Rebirth

An old friend found again, welcome back. It's good to have you.

Life has been, well, pretty rough lately. But you know, even as every story has an end; there's always a new story to tell. I thank God for the beautiful creation we know as "people." I hope my friends know what they mean to me, and how much they're helped me in my life. Thanks guys! And girls ;-) And ... others. lol. I hope I've had as positive of an affect on your lives. Life is definietly worth living, all you need is a sense of purpose.

08:11 am - Sounds about right. And Hooray for the Doozer enjoying quality anime. ^^

What Neon Genesis Evangelion character are you?

Current Mood: distressed

12:56 pm - "Yoinked" as it were, from Kendall

Honor: You are an honorable person who is firm with
his/her beliefs and treats others as you are
treated. People would consider you humble at
times and very respectful, and someone to
definitely respect back.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: optimistic

02:28 am

I'm becoming increasingly worried about humans. It seems they have lost the concept of thought outside their influences. This is no surprise to me, but it still bothers me. Why can't people accept ideas that are, possibly, not widely accepted? Not believe them, but at least consider them. *sigh* Oh well, nothing will change.

I need a beautiful women in my bathtub, covered with red rose petals. Candles lit all around... red lipstick, black mascara and eyeliner.... yeah....just to look at and smile.

I wonder what I'll be doing later on in life... will I look back and smile? Will the choices I make help me? Or hinder me... Life is most definitely a series of questions. There doesn't seem to be nearly enough answers to balance it though. I'm always asking myself questions.... then out of nowhere I need to be stupid, probably to keep sane.

I want to walk down a hidden path in the woods... trees all around me, leaves falling.... a small warm breeze... I wish I had someone to share such a thing with.

Does anyone else feel like an alien to this world? I feel like I'm walking in the opposite direction as everyone else... but trying to walk backwards to fit in. I can do it, but I always know I'm faking it.

Just now I was thinking about going back in my post and editing it to make it more enjoyable to read.... why do I think things like that? Basically what I wrote is some highlights of Ian's thought patterns.... If I went into the 50 tangents between each thought, I'd be here forever. *laughs*

Man she was cute...
Whatever, who cares. :-P

12:28 am - transition

the night always comes as an angel of serenity and solitude to me...
she's so beautiful and majestic... only space could make stars look like tiny pinholes. it's amazing how small we really are... even a speck of sand in the ocean is magnitudes larger than we are in this universe. i wish more people saw how beautiful the night sky is. i think part of the reason i smoke at night is just to look up at the stars... after working with humans all day it's nice to look out and remember, there's more than this; thank God there's more than this.
my eyes grow more and more heavy, and my slumber beckons me... she lies me down and comforts me with the eternal darkness and slowing of my mind, until it comes to a ....complete........ stop.

Current Mood: nostalgic

11:11 am - time of death, 2:00am, november 28th, 1980

And they said he died of a broken heart...

Current Mood: quixotic

05:47 pm - Ok, one more, I promise....

You Should Get a Tribal Tattoo!

"Primal, earthy, and naturally sexy"

Describes both you and your tattoo

Subtle tattoo + subtle sensuality = perfect match!



What Tattoo Should You Get?

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Your Sexual Power Animal is a Penguin!

Choosy, selective, and monogamous.



Not only are you picky when it comes to sex.

You tend to stick with the same partner for a long time

And since you're so picky, it takes a lot to get you

Once you're impressed, then you'll put out



What's Your Sexual Power Animal?

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Current Mood: amused

04:30 pm - These things are too addicting....

Your Passion is Scarlet!

You're more than passionate - you're burning hot!

Love is a serious thing for you, and you don't take the game lightly.

You are always open to passion... in every possibile form.

No doubt about it... you're a wild ride!



What Color Is Your Passion?

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There's a 51 - 75% Chance You'll Cheat!

Sound about right?

Chances are greater than not that you've cheated...

Although, probably not all that often.

If you haven't cheated yet, then you've probably been tempted.

Even if that temptation was "just" a drunken kiss.

Bring your sweetie around more often, and you won't have to get flirty with others.



Sound completely wrong?

Congratulate yourself for keeping it together...



Are You Likely to Cheat?

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Current Mood: flirty

01:52 pm - Quiz Results

Your Seduction Stye: "Fantasy Lover"

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!

Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.

You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you



You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable

Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life

By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.



Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives

Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours

No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.


What Kind of Seducer Are You?

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You're Like a Sexual Assembly Line!

Shirt off. Pants off. Lights off.

Assume the same old position.

Sex is beyond routine for you - it's a damn orgasm assmebly line.

Try anything (lights on, reversed positions) to liven things up.



Are You Predictable?

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You Are an EXPERT in Bed

You know precisely what you’re doing when the sheets are pulled down and the panties go right along with them.

You’re also super confident, and rightly so.

Because any man who may be fortunate enough to find himself between your legs is a happy man, indeed.

You’re the type of woman men brag about in locker rooms: knowledgeable, adorable, and lickable.

You’ve gotten to the point that you don’t even have to try so hard.

It all just comes naturally: the mouth, the hips, everything underneath.

One lovely little package.



Are *You* Good In Bed?

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Current Mood: loved

09:50 am - Genesis

So I created a LiveJournal.... not entirely sure why I did... but I felt like it.

Much has been going on lately, and certain few know much about it... Life has a tendency to put a myriad of questions before you that you are always incapable to answer with any meritable action. But even if your answers are less than perfect, I suppose continually answering them is better than being silent. I hope. And I leave you with this.. a poem to commemorate my grand opening.

from when i was born
going toward the light was unwelcome
i wanted to stay
in the place of familiarity
i was forced out
into this place that once again
i am now familiar with
fearful of the next passage
leading toward the next light

Current Mood: discontent